The Struggle Of Having An Outgoing Personality But An Anxious Mind

Anxiety: Ok, but what if- Me: Yo, we went over this a million times, we got this.

Outgoing people with anxious minds much like myself tend to feel anxiety more intensely, most of the time it’s because we don’t talk about it – like ever.

The anxiety we feel is a very big contrast compared to our big bold personalities. Most of the time when we meet new people they would never guess we have the anxiety like we do. We’re never really sure when to “fight or flight.” We’re often the life of the party but at the same time can be questioning everything.

Everyday goes about the same. Wake up, take your choice in anxiety meds and try your best to not let your anxiety get in the way of your day-to-day life. Even though the meds help, it’s always there in the back of your mind. Anxiety: Ok, but what if- Me: Yo, we went over this a million times, we got this. Anxiety: Yeah, but I’ve looked at it from a new angle and there’s 17 more reasons why you should worry. Me: ….. go on.

Things get a little complicated when it comes to people. Usually, people with an outgoing personality love being around others and need to be around others to be happy. Over-thinking and being a little apprehensive is the reason why people like us are so selective and picky about who we surround ourselves with. Being this way might mean that we have a lot of friends but very few close friends who we share things with. But, when we do finally let people in, they become our whole world. Even with constant anxiety we some how still find it easy to connect and talk to people. When we do choose to grace a party with our presence we’re usually the life of the party.

Over-thinking about things is killer. What did that person mean when they said “Talk to you soon!”? How soon is “soon”? When someone doesn’t text you back right away you always think about what went wrong. What did I say to them to make them not text back? Did I act like an idiot and not realize it? Did I talk too much?

Although we are very bold and out-going, even the smallest things can stress us out and give us anxiety. Whether it’s picking out clothes for an event, finishing something for work or school, or making appointments. The thought have having to deal with every day things makes our mind race.

Dating is HARD. We have to explain to them we’re not insecure or control freaks, we just think a lot. You don’t have to call us back 5 minutes after the date, but just know that our mind is playing out a bunch of different scenarios. Some include but are not limited too: you cheating, you got in a horrible accident, you died, etc. If we get your voicemail we can’t help but consider that you might have driven off a cliff and you are now dead. We also tend to be overwhelmed VERY easy, so anything you do, even the smallest of gestures, is greatly appreciated. Picking us up for a date, playing with our hair, calling us to see how we are. We will never take your small gestures for granted.

People dealing with anxiety are always so hard on themselves. We can’t help but think that there’s more that we should be, and could be doing. We try and think about everything during the day to be able to fall asleep at night but let’s be real, our brains never really shut off.

Being out-going and having anxiety is one of the hardest things that I personally have had to deal with. I know that someday it’ll get easier for me, and it will for you too.

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