“You’ll change your mind”
“You’re too young to make that decision”
“You’ll be missing out”
I’ve heard statements much like those ones ever since I decided kids just weren’t for me. When I daydreamed of my happily ever after, there was always Prince Charming and a life of adventure, but never a baby.
My reasons to remain childfree are nobody’s business, yet I’m constantly asked to justify my choice.
So here you go:
1. I don’t particularly like kids
Sure, I’ve babysat many kids in my life but there’s just something about their bad attitudes and constant stickiness that rubs me the wrong. However, I would NEVER be mean to children. Other people’s kids remain fun and cute in my eyes, because I only have to experience them in small doses.
2. They make me uncomfortable
Kids are sticky and why the hell are the always dripping some sort of goo? They always have food crusted on their faces and they smell weird 89% of the time. They are always staring, ALWAYS. And why can’t I seem to understand anybody under the age of 3? I feel bad having to say “what?” every 5 seconds. I don’t want to have to explain puberty to my kids, let alone have the sex talk.
3. Being responsible for them
The idea of being responsible for the physical and emotion well-being of a child freaks me out. Raising a kid before they head off to school is way more than a full-time job. It’s a 24 hours a day, 7 days a week type deal. I hate being around adults when I’m sleep deprived let alone being around a child who is dependent on you for EVERY LITTLE THING. I don’t want to be that soccer mom taking my kids everywhere. I want to relax every once in a while.
4. I don’t want to screw my child or scar them in any way with my shitty parenting
My dad inflicted so many issues in me I don’t want to do that to my children. I had an unhappy childhood and, even though I went to therapy and created a great life, I just can’t see how I would be able to be a good parent. I’m mean and overly critical. I don’t want to have to yell or scold my kids when they’re being naughty because I’ll feel bad.
5. Being pregnant is just incredibly unappealing
I have never trusted the process of development inside me to have the child turn out okay at the end of 9 months. I don’t want to be constantly leaking body fluids every time I sneeze or stand up. I don’t think I could ever love something that caused me that much pain. I don’t want to stress about my body basically exploding from childbirth. I don’t want to have to worry about morning sickness and postpartum depression.
6. I don’t want to organize my finances and career around my children for 18+ years
Being financially stable is important, and with the world the way it is with no sign of change, taking care of myself is enough of a financial struggle. I want to spend my time and money on travel and other fun shit, not diapers and a college fund. It costs $241,080 to raise a kid. Think of everything you could buy with that money. Did I mention how much more money I can save for retirement? I don’t envision having time to properly care for a child while also focusing on my career.
7. Or my personal/social life
I have too many plans that children just don’t fit into. I want to be the one who gets to take a nap in the middle of the afternoon. If I want a get a little wine drunk at 3 in the afternoon then I’m going to. I can travel with friends and do spontaneous things I would never be allowed to do if I had to take care of a child.
8. I just don’t want kids
I can fill my house with expensive pointy objects without having to worry about whether or not my kid is going to run into something and bash his head on my vintage coffee table. I can see through windows without the interruption of smudgy little finger prints. Studies have shown that people with kids suffer from depression more than people without kids, and I already have enough of that