Romance is getting the short end of the stick these days. Our generation, or “Millennials” as some call it, is the first generation that is openly sleeping around and not being judged for it. Words such as “slut” and “whore” are still get thrown around quite often, but usually by someone who matches or exceeds your body count.
Fast-paced modern society, combined with mobile technology and social media has sprouted a hook up culture and dating has evolved from developing instant intimacy to endless dick pics, creepy pick-up lines, and mind games.
We see getting completely wasted, making out with random people, and ending the night having sex with someone you just met hours earlier as a given. Virgins don’t exist and there’s no such thing as a goodie two shoes.
College kids are hooking up and having casual sex now more than ever, but these encounters often leave them feeling empty, sad, and regretful. A study done by the University of California showed that of 557 students who responded to a question asking how they felt the morning after a hookup, 41% of those expressed sadness and regret.
But what is the true meaning of “hooking up”?
It can mean a variety of things. When your friend tells you she hooked up with a cute guy at a party, you might assume she had full on intercourse, while she just meant she made out with him. Clearly having sex and making out are totally different things, and not having a clear definition can make things a tad awkward.
Why is our generations view of love so grim?
Apps such as Tinder and Bumble have made hooking up so much easier. These apps are on-demand and you get instant interaction. You can swipe through photos, see one that strikes your fancy, and “like” them. If he or she also likes you, then the app will connect you. You can see if you have any friends in common or similar interests. Unfortunately, you might have to sit through a horrific pick-up line. Unlike Tinder, Bumble is an app that only allows the women to message first and the match disappears after 24 hours. Surprisingly, about 70% of the people use these dating apps for the sole purpose of hooking up.
Most people hook up because they are hoping to start a romantic relationship or want emotional gratification and they tend to view casual hookups as a positive alternative to romantic relationships. Some think that they are just too busy at this point in their life to make a relationship a priority. No one wants commitment that goes along with relationships. It seems to be easier to have sex with different people on different nights and having no strings attached. A relationship is their long-term goal, but for now, casual sex meets their needs.
Luckily, movies like “Friends With Benefits” seem to give some people hope in this hookup culture. You know, that movie with the beloved Justin Timberlake, where he suddenly begins to catch feelings for a woman he was using strictly for sex. But is this just something we see on TV? Do people actually have a friend with benefits whom they engage in regular casual sex with? Around 60% of college aged students have a friends with benefits.
It’s hard to live in a hook culture when you are looking for more than just a “hook up buddy” for the night. It’s hard when we want the joking around with one another but not the serious conversations. When we want the cute pictures and relationship goals, but not the everyday struggles and commitment leading up to it.
Life is simply a series of random events, and the universe will inevitably unfold as it was meant to.
Everyone will eventually find that special someone, whether it’s in the bed or in their hearts.
Or maybe you’ll just die cold, bitter and alone. I don’t know, I’m not Cupid.